rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
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