There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
Randomize
