can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
as a side note pls kill me
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
