I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
