Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
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