mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
well you can't waste a boner
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
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