We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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