I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
