come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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