Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
Randomize