So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Randomize
