was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
it's great music for shaving your balls
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
