I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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