Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Sext me about skeletons
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
