we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
