Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Randomize