I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
Just brought out that old CCM hockey helmet. The one covered in sharpie penises with "DRUNK BUCKET" written across the front. The number of tally marks / initials from tonight's drunk stunts alone is equal parts inspiring and alarming.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
Randomize
