can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
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