People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
She told me I should be a condom model.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I don't think it's food poisoning, I think it's cause you cooked it over burning styrofoam
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
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