Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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