I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
