He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
