He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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