I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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