my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
who's fault is it that she tells me today she is only 16 because i definately met her at the bar...
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
