everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I think I'm destined to be the stoner version of one of those successful but emotionally unavailable characters Sandra Bullock always plays in movies
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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