i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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