My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Randomize
