Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I think a kid would responsible me up
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
This pandemic, it’s making everyone horny. I’ve got dick stashed all over town
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