There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
