i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Just witnessed a fat waitress doing whipits in the back of a waffle house.. my life seems a little brighter..
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
Randomize
