Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize
