I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
