I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
Use "feeling words"
Yay
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
