their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
Randomize
