so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
