the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
It was confusing and full of hummus
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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