His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
