What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Randomize