she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
We need a shit load of segways right now
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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