can we get nightvision for the apartment?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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