Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Randomize
