...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Randomize
