We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
you were walking down the sidewalk and just puked. didnt even stop or slow down and just kept going. i was so impressed i didnt even tell anyone you threw up on passing peoples shoes.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
Randomize
