i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
