I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
