you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
Randomize
