I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
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