i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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