So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
