and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
