Sponge bath it is.
Someone shit on the floor
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Randomize
