Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
