We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Randomize