You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize