he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
Randomize
