I have demons in me.
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
I think a kid would responsible me up
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize
